The Oscars: a Spectacle of Little Substance

Sunday night’s particularly vapid red carpet banter was the perfect introduction to 2010’s 82nd annual Academy Awards Ceremony. From the moment Shari Shepard said to Jeff Bridges’ wife, “Your husband looks so mmm...yummy,” there was no going back—the night was doomed to its usual spectacle of bored, often empty-headed, attractive people being honored (or embarrassed) at a live awards show and on television.

“The Hurt Locker” was far and away the star of the night, winning six categories, including Best Picture. One could also say women triumphed as well, as Kathryn Bigelow became the first woman to win Best Director. Though the movie-going public might have never heard of the Iraq War film critics and audiences lauded “The Hurt Locker” not for its budget but its content. “The Hurt Locker” was certainly an appropriate David to “Avatar’s” Goliath in a world where a big budget usually trumps all.

Though all the films honored might have their merits, the show itself had nothing to offer home audiences. For those watching it as a live show it might have been better (unlikely based on their expressions), but as television entertainment the 82nd Academy Awards failed miserably. Yes, everyone might have looked nice in their Marchesa gowns and Tom Ford suits, but the jokes and presentations were often cringe-worthy. It fulfilled its ostensible goal of handing out the awards, but the show itself alternated between stiff and rehearsed, and awkwardly unscripted.

The priceless look of distaste on Jeff Bridges’ face after a tacky opening number by Neil Patrick Harris and a bunch of sequined, feathered showgirls caught by a poorly-timed camera shot showed how the musical number might have looked to anybody that isn’t on board with the bastardization of “Old Hollywood.” Jon M. Chu’s “Legion of Extraordinary Dancers “ turned up the energy, at least, with a confusing and disjointed break-dance number to music nominated for Best Original Score. The theme of the entire set, which seemed to be “dirty household lampshades,” just didn’t have the class one might expect at the Oscars.

All the home audience needed to know could be read on the faces on their screens and the behavior of the live audience. Sarah Jessica Parker chewed gum during the ceremony while George Clooney visibly cringed at Alec Baldwin’s jokes. Not that the on-stage presenters and performers were much better/ A nervous Amanda Seyfried and a slouching Miley Cyrus, who were presenting Best Song to “The Weary Kind” from “Crazy Heart”, represented Young Hollywood’s chronic awkwardness. The stars’ onstage dialogues were what might be expected—Vera Farmiga praised George Clooney’s acting prowess by calling him a “fantastically fantastic Mr. Foxy Fox.” It’s a topical comment, but really, she might not realize that she’s onstage at the (usually aiming for classy) Academy Awards. Or, considering this year’s event, maybe she does.

At this year’s Academy Awards, Jeff Bridges had his first well-deserved Oscar win as did Sandra Bullock, which was a noteworthy moment. Other than that, everybody looked pretty in their outfits and self-congratulatory airs, and nobody did anything too embarrassing. Ho-hum.

Kate Winslet said in her red carpet interview that this year she could, “relax and enjoy it and watch everybody else panic.” And panic they did—you could see it in their faces. Boredom, passion, nerves, and intense discomfort...this year Hollywood’s biggest stars did little to hide their reactions to the show, whether positive or (mostly) negative.